I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Randomize
