does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
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He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
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Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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