Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
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