He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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