im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
