Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Randomize
