so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
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