Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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