In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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