We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
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