So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
