I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
