Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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