Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize