I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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