good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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