Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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