Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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