He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
