Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Can vaginas get frostbite?
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
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