the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize