I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
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and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
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It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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