I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Everclear isn't food dammit
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
