when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Randomize
