i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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