So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
