Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
