It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
