Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
