Your dad touched me again.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
