I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize