you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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