you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
