i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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