did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
