I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
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