tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
