a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
