Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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