we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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