I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
So. Much. Porn.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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