I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
