I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
