I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
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