Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
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All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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