i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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