I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
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