I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
im six kinds of drunk right now
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
