Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
