The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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