He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
