yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
