just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Found your dick twin last night
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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