I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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